Yard Sale Litter Bugs

Here’s a pet peeve of mine that affects us all. When people have yard sales they put up signs all over the neighborhood. “Yard Sale on some date at some time”. That’s all well and good.

Sadly the signs usually are missing some information. Cuz people are stupid. They’ll say, “Yard Sale Today”. As if the sign will magically disappear once that day has expired and passersby will therefore know that today is that today since the sign still exists.

But that’s not the worst of it. I’m an American. I’ve grown accustomed to stupidity.

The worst of it is that when the yard sale is over no one ever comes to collect and remove their signs. That’s littering.

The signs remain, months after the yard sale has concluded. Cluttering the environment long after their usefulness has expired.

You had the energy and mobility to put the sign there prior to your yard sale. Therefore one can conclude, that surely you have enough energy and mobility to return after your yard sale is over and collect the sign.

I do not believe that is too much to expect.


Having Children Is Evil

Having a child is the single most selfish, bar none, act a person or two people can commit. The worst part is people who have children love to pretend as if this is a selfless act. That they are doing the world a favor. It’s not enough for them to just burden the world with yet another life. No, they must also try to imply that they have done the rest of us a service somehow.

To further this truth, let’s have a look at the main reasons why people have babies.

People have babies to cement relationships with others. People use children to trap others in their lives. Boyfriend not that into you. Husband losing interest. A baby will quickly create a connection that will last a lifetime.

People have babies because they want to be loved. Romantic relationship are complex and volatile. Under most any circumstances your children will love you unconditionally.

People have babies because they are slaves to their twisted beliefs. The gaping voids in their dank souls cannot be filled by any other means that fabricating fairy tales of paradise and afterlife and eternal happiness after death. To reinforce such outlandish truths they create many children whom they brainwash into believing the same insane claptrap that they desperately cling to in order to give their own lives meaning. They are weak and cannot face reality.

The only selfless reason there could possibly ever be for a person or people to make a child is that they themselves are so gifted and such an asset to the world that their procreation might enrich the world with someone equally as amazing. So pretty much never gonna happen.

So the entire world needs to wake up and stop pretending that having children is a kindness. It’s a blight upon the Earth. It’s a cancer on society. It’s pretty much the worst thing anyone could ever do short of liking for Donald Trump.

Barking Dogma

Addiction is frowned upon unless it’s religion that someone is abusing. And so many people do abuse it. Religion is worse than any chemical drug. Becuase it’s the same, but no one realizes that.

People use god as a way of forfeiting responsibility for their own lives. If things are bad they simply pray and wait for god to fix it. They can’t fix it, so they just shift the responsibility to a supernatural force.

Now they don’t have to fix it. They can simply wait for god to do it. And if that doesn’t happen, well then, that was just a part of his mysterious plan. Very neat and tidy.

They can’t face reality, so they don’t. They can’t be the one who fucked it all up and can’t make it right. No. This is just a test. God is testing me. And he will fix it if I’m patient.

I don’t actually have to do anything at all, except sit here and keep believing. I am not responsible for anything. I am not to blame for my shortcomings or failures. I needn’t do anything to better myself. I’ll just pray and wait.

And if things continue to go wrong, that’s how god wanted it. It’s not anything I did.

and if my husband loses his job, it’s gods plan. it’s not corporate greed and bad government. and if my kid is stupid it’s gods plan. it’s not my bad genes. or that i drank while i was pregnant. or that i myself am an idiot.

And if my wife is a total cunt, that’s how god wants it. And i’ll fuck her anyway. I won’t like it, but god has a plan for me. Cause every last stupid, ignorant christian in america matters to god, even though all those other people in all those other countries don’t seem to at all.

and those greek gods are just a myth. those roman ones and norse ones too. but no, my god is real. because my minister says he is.

those hindus are crazy. so are those muslims. but i was just lucky enough to be born into the one true religion. only a fraction of the planet is christian, but we must be right because we’re american.

Dietary Evolution

A lot of people love to use evolution as a reason for consuming meat. They’ll say people evolved to eat meat and our canine incisor teeth (fangs) are the proof. Personally my fangs are practically non-existent. That aside, I have to chuckle at their ignorance.

True, some early homonids may have had a meat heavy diet. The fact is though, that early man ate based on opportunity. Their diet was dictated by their environment and their ability to procure sustenance from said environment. Different tribes ate different things. Some might have mostly eaten fish. Others might’ve had a more venison based diet. The variations are numerous.

The underlying fact… they ate what was available. It was that or starve.

What’s available to us now… everything. We no longer need to hunt whatever animal is easiest to catch. We don’t really hunt at all. We simply go to the market.

The other really laughable thing is they speak of evolution as something with an end. Evolution does not end. We are still evolving. If we begin to eat a plant based diet we will influence our own evolution. Our ability to choose what food we eat can literally alter the course of our evolution as a species. Primitive man did not possess that power. Today, we do.

We now have a choice. We can choose to evolve into a species that doesn’t need to kill to survive.

An Indictment of Chain Burgers

Here’s my problem with the sudden and meteoric rise of the fast casual dining experience. They charge the same money as any respectable, local restaurant for food that is lower in quality, higher in sodium and served in a less pleasant atmosphere.

A $10 burger at any chain is mediocre at best. Difficult to customize or not at all customizable. Half the time you ask for a different cheese and still receive the standard ammerican. Send it back you say? But I don’t want to wait another 20 minutes and have spit in it.

The same $10 burger at a real, local restaurant will be twice the size, three times as juicy, better seasoned and made how you order it.

it will also feature a better bun, fresh fries and a pleasant dining experience unbeknowst to the fast casual universe.

I think people gravitate toward these restaurants because there’s a perception that they have something unique to offer. But nothing could further from the truth. It’s the same crap in a shiny new package.

Support your local eateries. Their actual chefs will do your burger right. At virtually the same price as all those corporate imposters.

Now if only the small restaurant had veggie patties it’d be a win all around.

Absentee Matter

I dreamed I was a serial killer. A fugitive on the run. And I was good at it. I kept evading the authorities. I had my lover by my side and we were determined to escape to our own personal paradise.

It wasn’t clear who I’d murdered or why. Just that I had and that I liked it. I was proud of it. And I wanted to keep doing it. No. I needed to keep doing it.

It doesn’t always make sense… the things we want. They’re not always good. But still we want them. We are not capable of making ourselves not want them. We can deny ourselves the pleasure we crave, but for the most part, we are powerless. Slaves to our mysterious desires.

We can summon our will and choose not to act upon those desires, but then we are miserable.

We can give in to them and become puppets twirling on the dark strings tangling within us. It feels good at first. I know this.

But soon we are back where we started. Full of inexlicable cravings that simultaneously make us euphoric and morose.

Life is a lever. Despair is the fulcrum. The scales measure only what is not there.

Blizzard Watch

Snowstorm Juno is headed my way. Or so they tell me. Work has already been cancelled. I get to sleep in.

It’s 11:36pm EST and there’s absolutely nothing going on.

The weather reports still insist that it’s coming.

I’ve always been a skeptic. That’s just my nature.

But it’s been noted by many people on more than one occasion how the media tend to ‘cry wolf’. Thereby desensitizing us to the times when it really matters.

This happened with hurricane Sandy. As with every other minor storm ever, they ranted and raved about how bad it would be. No one believed them. Why would we. Every other time they had done so it turned out to be nothing.

So when it really mattered we were so tired of the hype that we were unprepared for the reality.

If that isn’t irresponsible journalism then I don’t know what is. If doctors have to take an oath, then reporters should have to as well. Our lives are just as much in their hands. These silly grabs for ratings in the news is ridiculous anyway. Do they really make a lot of money off of advertising sold during the news? If so, those advertisers may as well shit on their money and set it on fire. It would do them more good that way.

I’m feeling skeptical once again. It’s quiet out there. I’m also tempting fate here. But I don’t really believe in fate. I believe in the Q continuum. They are a fickle bunch. You never know what they’ll do. They might even put you on trial for the crimes of humanity. Even though you’re just a starship captain with an english accent who supposedly hails from france. they’re inscrutible that way.

personally, i would enjoy a little bit of good old fashioned snow shovelling. not too much. but a bit is always fun. and a darn good excuse for drinking some yummy cocoa. and who can’t use a little extra cocoa in their life?