atheist shirt So Christmas is over. How was your haul? Did you get what you wanted? Did you eat enough to feed a small African nation for several months? Cause that’s what Christmas is all about. Avarice and overeating.

Or at least that is my understanding of it. As an atheist who quite enjoy the show 7th Heaven. And considers oneself a lot like Reverend Camden. Like him I also have a sickly heart. As well as a questionable hairdo.

Seriously though. I really do like that show and I really do like Christmas. I try  not to let all that Jesus busines get in the way of my enjoyment. That’s kinda a theme with atheists. Not to let all that Jesus nonsense get in the way of the good shit.

Shopping for presents and giving gifts is a lot of fun. Kinda hard on the wallet, but lucky us, no collection plate worries. I used to have a close friend who was a Mormon. 10% tithe. Harsh stuff. I always think shouldn’t it be the other way around. If God is omnipotent and all. Shouldn’t he be giving to them. Why does God need people to give him money? It doesn’t make any sense. Why does God even need money in the first place. He’s God. He can just make more appear.

Believe it or not, atheists do celebrate Christmas. Actually we quite enjoy any religious holiday that diminishes and defames religion.

But I kid. I love the idea of family and togetherness and goodwill. Atheistism is actually a lot like Christianity. No! Really. It is. We believe in being kind and helping others and general goodness. But we do it because it’s right. Not just to get into an imaginary paradise when we’re dead.

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Merry Christmas Fuckers

led-zeppelin-kissWhen you can’t think of a good gift for someone there’s a new and patented method for resolving the situation. Give them something totally randomn and crazy funny and they’ll love it just the same. You’ll come off lookig clever and witty and they’ll walk away with seomthing cool they never would buy for themselves.

December has been going by so fast. The holidays are always too brief. All preparation and far too little enjoyment in many case. Course I adore scouting for gifts. It’s one of my best talents. Figuring out gifts for people. Meaningful ones they’ll really love.

I can’t think of anything that makesa a better random christmas gift than a strange and finny t-shirt that doesn’t make 100% sense. They’re Kiss. Not Led Zeppelin. How crazy. Like Family Guy with the new dog Vinnie. Impossible to find any logic there. It’s this intense logic void that creates the ideal environment for stoners and pot heads to really feel teh bake.

You know what they say. You can put a potato in the oven, but you can’t make it  listen. those fuckers sure are stubborn.

Happy Holidays and whatever it was, we didn’t do it.