Memorial Day Thanks

Memorial Day was fun for all around here. There was great food and nice weather (finally) and festive fireworks. Flags were flying and hot dogs were a grilling aplenty. I’m not really a hot dog person, unless they are of the meatless variety, but they still grill up just as nicely and love sauerkraut and ketchup just as much.

My favorite part of summer is the grilling and the fireworks. Down on the shore we’re big on the fireworks. Any excuse to set em off. Fourth of July… time for fireworks! Friday nights… time for fireworks! Didn’t rain today… time for fireworks!

Summer is always such a wonderful and happy time growing up. No school. All that freedom. That’s what we’re all about. Freedom. And summer is the ideal time to be free. So many wonderful things to do, eat and see.

But we cannot forget those who make this all possible. The brave fighting men and women of the armed forces who risk their lives every day to preserve the freedom we cherish so dearly. Thank you so very much ladies and gentlemen of the military!

Thank you for defending my right to watch Hell’s Kitchen and Iron Chef America. Thank you for preserving my right to eat tofu and hummus. Thank you for the CW and for Showtime and for Fox Television. But not for Fox News. They totally suck.

Awesome America

What’s awesome about America is how proud we are of our collective dysfunction. We are unapologetically daft. America does crazy the same way we do everything else. Loud and proud. Perhaps a little bit prouder than those other things I sometimes think.

How do Americans eat? We eat big. We eat huge. Giant flavor. Lots of fat. Gargantuan portions. Tons of sugar and salt. How do Americans drive? We drive huge SUV’s and expensive sports cars and pick up trucks big enough to house several Chinese families. How do Americans do religion? We are fanatical. We obsess over Jesus and purity and righteousness. We naturally assume our religions is the right one and proceed to condemn all others. How do Americans do sex? Eh, we’re not so good at that. It’s genetic. We have small penises and watch a lot of porn. But that’s a big secret. On the surface we scorn it and call it filth. Cuz we’re Americans. We’re better than everyone else in every way.

How do Americans do guns? We love guns. They make us feel better about our small penises and less than stellar sexual prowess. Note to the rest of the world – surgical penis enlargement could be a recipe for world peace.

How do Americans do money. Oh god, we do it like a coked up, mentally handicapped whore. Money is the only thing we love more than we love ourselves and America. Well, that and bacon. We really love bacon. And money. And pork.

Brave New World

The movie side effects was kind of an eye opener for me. The overall plot kinda reminded me too much of Primal Fear. That movie stunned me back in the day. Because of that, Side Effects did not. It did however illuminate an interesting trend in western civilization.

If you’re not shiny, happy and perfect the medical and pharmaceutical industry is all too happy to dose you up until to fit into that neat little prison of normal people. It totally made me think of the book Brave New World. That was how they kept all the people in line. They drugged them with Soma. And if for some reason or another, you managed to escape the drug or it otherwise didn’t work on you, you were dubbed a savage and exiled.

That’s the society we’ve created in America. A brave new world of drugged clones and robots. If you don’t fit our ideal of how a person should be then we’ll fix you with our medicine. If you don’t want to be fixed with our wonderful medicines then you will be shunned by society. No one will be your friend. No one will hire you to work for them. And you’ll generally be looked down upon and unwanted.

We’ve let the pharmaceutical industry all but take over the world. Them and oil and credit card companies. We’re not a free country anyymore. We haven’t been for quite some time now.

Just a bunch of zombies and slaves. If only it were just a book or a movie. Then a hero might come along and save us. But this is real life. No happy endings permitted.

Social Security Hassles

My mom is trying to collect on her social security benefits. According to the law she’s entitled to half of what my father (her ex-husband) benefits would be. They are just giving her such a hard time about it though. It’s really awful.

Her case worker told her she needs his birth certificate. Um?! You can’t get someone else’s birth certificate. Unless they are your child.

She’s called numerous times and spoken with other people and they have concurred. You can’t do that. Therefore it is not a requirement.

Now they want my brith certificate instead. I’m not really understanding how that proves my father’s age any better than the marriage license she already submitted which has his date of birth on it.

It’s like they purposely try to hassle people so they’ll die from the stress and not take any of the money they’re owed.

She’s already had to wait 5 additional years just to be eligible to apply. Cause she married a man 5 years younger than herself. If that isn’t a sexist and totally outdated rule I don’t know what is. Sometimes women marry younger men. Men don’t always marry younger women. I don’t think women who marry younger men should be penalized for it.

I just don’t understand the logic. You have a social security number for just such this purpose. If you give your social security number it should be as simple as that. They know who you are. They know how old you are. They know who you were married to and how old they are as well. It’s just bullshit, nonsense, runaround which the brith certificates and other documents. They know full well exactly what’s going on, who you are and what you’re entitled to. But they just have to give you a hard time.  If they were any other entity they would be cited for fraud and harrassment.

Unless you’re a politician. Then you can do whatever you want. The law doesn’t apply.